New Singh

40 Years old London. 

2017 was my year of standing back up tall and getting on with things. That’s when I started to deal with all the problems that had accumulated, at that stage after 13 years of marriage. It was abuse, mental abuse and some physical for at least 5 years. Yes, Domestic Abuse. It took a lot to accept that. I didn’t realise until she attacked me physically. Few times she lashed out when she didn’t get what she wanted. I don’t remember much of it, because in addition to the abuse, was depression. I didn’t admit it for years; however, I was diagnosed with depression in 2013, I was on
medication. So, it was easy to target me, I was weak, and my guard was down. Anyone could’ve said or done anything to me. I was at my most vulnerable. When the police were called in Sept 2018, Sunday morning, and she was arrested in front of me and the kids, for threatening me.

This was my first steps to learning that I had been domestically abused, mentally for years. This also helped me understand my depression. For a long time, I wondered how I got depressed. The most laid back, funny guy there could be. This was as they say, the nail in the coffin. I literally died and was re-born. What I was back then, is no longer me. I had to re-create me. I call it the 2.0 version of me. I think differently. Feel differently. Now, I’m going through a divorce. Most say it gets bitter, but I’m dealing with it. And it’s not bitter. I have no anger towards this or my soon to be ex. Instead I’m getting on with it. I’ve had immense help around me. At first it was family, then when the police got involved, I had domestic abuse advisors and social services helping me and my 2 boys. It’s all been about the boys. I haven’t seen so clearly in so many years, but now I do for the safety of my boys.

 It’s true, they say surround yourself with positivity. Without the support and help from loved ones or understanding of others who have been through such traumatic journeys, I don’t know how I would have made it. I am Thankful for where I am today!

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